In the meantime, I have a story to tell. As you know, I am getting older (aren't we all?) and don't get hit on very often. So when I do, it's a big deal and I must share.
You probably recall when the motorcycle dude from "The Village People" Hit on me in the Produce Department at Super Foodtown a few weeks back.
Well, my latest suitor is our pizza delivery guy. This one looks like Yul Brynner. He's a big Russian with a bald head. Every time I answer the door, he looks
me in the deep in my eyes and stands a bit too close. Last time he came over he told me (with a strong Russian accent)..."you smell really good.""It's not me," I told him, "I just got a new reed diffuser." He didn't know what the hell a reed diffuser is, but it WASN'T me. The reed diffuser smells AWESOME. Like currants.
"No," he insisted stepping a bit closer, "YOU smell good." Hmmm...I guess he's into the scent of post tennis sweat...ewww!!
Alarm bells go off in my head...
Okay guy. Thanks whatever. Here's your money. Now hurry along, you're kind of freaking me out!!!
Today he arrives, pie in hand. Steps right up next to me and purrs..."I love your hair." A little inappropriate don't you think??
That's when I start talking loud..."ALRIGHTY, THANKS SO MUCH!!! BYE...HAVE A GREAT NIGHT." I shut the door quickly and don't look back.
Yowsa. I think I might need to call Domino's from now on. Their delivery guys are about 12 and have no interest in hitting on housewives.
Maybe a better idea is to only order pizza when I need an ego boost. I've gained a bit of weight post Thanksgiving, I guess the Russians like their women, shall we say, FULL FIGURED.
It's a vicious cycle. Feel fat, need ego boost, order pizza. Eat more pizza, get fatter. I think I'm better off getting my kicks in the Produce Section.
Now excuse me, while I go feed my thighs.
Footnote: Don't worry Braja...I always lock my doors. The guy's a flirt, but my instinct tells me he's harmless. Just to be safe, this cougar's going on a diet-no more pizza deliveries!!!