Yesterday I was innocently shopping in the produce aisle at the local supermarket.
I wanted to get some Golden Delicious apples, but the store manager and a delivery man were standing in my way. I stood politely waiting for them to notice me.
The store manager finally looked up at me and said "Sorry! You should have pushed us out of your way!"
"I'm non-violent, I wouldn't want to hurt you." was my witty reply.
The delivery man, who looked like the motorcycle dude from The Village People stepped up close to me. Too close. He looked me right in the eye and said. "I'd let you hurt me if you want." EWWWWW! I scooped up a few apples and moved on to the next section. Village Dude followed me.
As I approached the Clementines he stepped in front of me and got really close again. In a seductive voice he purred, "There's a special on Clementines today..." I felt the bile rise in my throat. No Clementines for me today!! I needed cucumbers too, but I didn't DARE give him the opportunity to discuss cucumbers with me. Melons, bananas, nothing was safe.
I decided to get the hell out of the produce section and into the safety of the meat aisle. Luckily the butcher is a polite guy who leaves the housewives alone.
I've been hit on by some yucky dudes, in bars, when I was 25. That was part of the fun. Having some washed up pop star discussing how much fun it would be to hurt him at the supermarket. Not my idea of a good time.
Peapod is delivering in my area. I think I'll have to try it, and pray that Village Dude doesn't have a second job.