Dear Bonnie,
My mom says you love me.
Can I please come and live with you?
Today I was so embarassed. I had to go, real bad. I went but as you probably know, veggies make poop a little stickier than normal. I love my veggies. So after coming in the house, mom yelled at me and then made me run around the yard, yelling something about "run that turd off your ass". She then took a stick to my bum and removed the very sticky cling-on from my bum. And then she got out the wet wipes, I'm not a baby! I think the neighbours saw and now I don't think I can show my mug in the back yard anymore.
And mom says I smell bad, Emily says I smell bad. I heard mom on the phone, she said something to Kelly-Next-Door about bath, and then I heard trim the back end, and smells bad. I know she was talking about Sally, I wonder what she has planned for her at 3 pm today?
Anyway, I'll be waiting with my box of dog bones, and my blankie.
Sincerely,
Linus Lo Williams