An example occurred today, when I was riding the paved bikepath along Jinker track at Bunya, to get to the middle trails. A joggler (not even a runner, definitely an 'el joggler l'extraordinaire') was doing that shuffling thing that joggers do along the path, when I saw her from a distance and came up behind her.
'Excuse me, on your right'.
Nothing.
In fact, somehow she managed to move directly in front of me.
Damn joggler had earphonies in, couldn't hear a damn thing, and they were so arrogant in their ignorance (or so it seemed, maybe I make up the arrogance to justify how angry I get about small things...).
I tried calling out again, and the response was persistent shuffling in the same direction. After about 15 more seconds, I leapt onto the gravel—which I couldn't do before due to these ridiculous bike path pole things, like this:
but without the flooding, and with the yellow poles closer together.
I get so mad that when I finally get around the shuffling joggler wearing her earphonies, I slam it into the largest gear with rage and ride off. And then I am pooped at the end of the path, so I guess my method of letting off steam is working, even if I look like a twat...
And while I don't want to, but I get so damn angry with things. So I decided to write a list of things that make me angry, maybe it will diffuse it. I doubt it.
AB's angry list of angry-ness:
1. Cars that cut you off when they leap in front of you only to turn left;
2. Cars that run you into the gutter;
3. Cars that are turning across the road, who creep out in front of you as you're riding past;
4. Cars that beep you and tell you to 'get off the f*cking road', 'that's what the footpath is for' or even (as Aiden and I experienced on our Redcliffe ride last week) 'I love sitting down' (which makes no sense to me coming from a car window—after all, being a cyclist we're sitting down too, and it's not like we're doing community service—we're riding our bikes because we want to, and I hate being stuck in a car);
5. People yelling at you when you're on the footpath, for example, next to the coffee shop you're about to visit or next to your house, to 'get on the f*cking road'. This almost made me laugh when I heard it, I was used to being told to get off it...
6. Super commuters racing you when you're on your way home from a 2–3 hour ride in the morning, and they're doing their 5km push to town, like really!
7. Boys/men racing you around MTB trails and on the road, being a target due to my differing chromosome;
8. Riding MTB trails, clearly pulling over for someone when not obligated to do so, and not even getting a 'hello';
9. Runners on MTB specific trails, joggling with earphonies in so they can't even hear you calling out to them to try and politely move around them;
10. The (generally) surly attitude of roadies at road race events, hello—you're not the world champion and even if you were I wouldn't be pandering like a sap at your ankles because you have deep dish wheels.
As you can see, there are many, many things that make me angry for small reasons. I am pretty sure I could get to about 30 of those, but alas, I have neither the inclination nor the time to list them all here.
So, we have established that I get angry...so what to do about it?
I have developed a few different techniques (including the one listed at the top) to deal with my anger during the above ten occassions.
With most instances including a car, a good squirt of the water bottle (especially when filled with something noxious such as coke or gatorade) into the open passenger window at the lights always goes down well.
If there are no lights and you have a spare water bottle/are near home, just lob it at their car. They will know something has hit them.
If they have merged into you, cutting you off in traffic and then stuck in said traffic, don't be afraid to ride past and give their car and almighty thump, especially if it looks like it may leave a dent. You can even go one better (hey Aido...) and unclip and give their car a big f*ckoff kick. That one's sure to go down well (nb: only do this when you have a GOOD escape plan from where you are located at that time...
Of course, if they're yelling obscenities, don't be afraid to yell one back, especially if they are under the assumption that you have to ride on the footpath or something. For example 'get off the road', could warrant a 'read your f*cking road rules, you dickhead' from you, the cyclist. Preferably hollered as loud as you can, accompanied with a shaking fist in the air.
For the people who try and race you, you have a few options. You can grin and bear it. You can ride up behind them and start talking on your moblie phone, or you can drop them like its hot. Which is probably the least-best plan of attack (except, perhaps, on MTB trails...) because you're just playing the super-hubbard game yourself.
If someone doesn't say 'hi' after you have specifically pulled over on a trail and are not obligated to do so, I find a sardonic 'hi, how are you going' quite effective, just as they have passed and it is quite certain that they are being rude bike twats.
Runners and jogglers are the scum of the earth when hogging MTB trails while listening to their earphonies. If you have something to throw at them, please do so. Small rocks are great, or you could give them a good squirt of the old water bottle (once again, most effective when filled with something sticky). And you could, of course, drop it like it's hot right past them so to freak them out of their earphonie-induced daze.
As for roadies at road events, I just like to play the MTB'er, ride my bike through the grass and (shock horror) not wipe the grass from my tyres. Also, I like to be friendly and say hello, and that freaks them right out.