Can you believe it?! I KNEW that Elf on the Shelf was a sneaky looking dude.I don't know who to blame...Kurt the Elf, or these sleazy Bratz dolls. Such sluts! I caught them fondling a Ken doll around Thanksgiving, and now this!
To add insult to injury, I found an empty bottle of Jim Beam spilled all over my daughter's floor. THANK GOODNESS my children were at school at the time. I don't want my innocent little girls tainted by the tawdry antics of this horny elf and his plastic concubines.
I told my little one that Kurt has been transferred to a family in Texas. He is no longer welcome in our home.
If you happen to have one of these sneaky little elves in your home, keep a very close eye on him. Hide your Barbies, and make sure you lock your bathroom door when you take a shower. Behind that cute little smirk lies an alcoholic pervert just waiting to take advantage of unsuspecting families, trying to add a little holiday magic to their children's lives.
On a lighter note, Merry Christmas to you all.
I leave you with this quote from Dr. Seuss' "How The Grinch Stole Christmas."
That one gets me every time. Truly. It brings a tear to my eye. Dr. Seuss is brilliant.
I feel so blessed that I will spend my Christmas surrounded by the ones I love. I am so thankful for my amazing family and friends, and despite the fact that I haven't been blogging much, I am very grateful for all the wonderful people I have met through Caffeine Court.
Stay safe and I will be back in 2011!
To add insult to injury, I found an empty bottle of Jim Beam spilled all over my daughter's floor. THANK GOODNESS my children were at school at the time. I don't want my innocent little girls tainted by the tawdry antics of this horny elf and his plastic concubines.
I told my little one that Kurt has been transferred to a family in Texas. He is no longer welcome in our home.
If you happen to have one of these sneaky little elves in your home, keep a very close eye on him. Hide your Barbies, and make sure you lock your bathroom door when you take a shower. Behind that cute little smirk lies an alcoholic pervert just waiting to take advantage of unsuspecting families, trying to add a little holiday magic to their children's lives.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
On a lighter note, Merry Christmas to you all.
I leave you with this quote from Dr. Seuss' "How The Grinch Stole Christmas."
| “And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” |
That one gets me every time. Truly. It brings a tear to my eye. Dr. Seuss is brilliant.
I feel so blessed that I will spend my Christmas surrounded by the ones I love. I am so thankful for my amazing family and friends, and despite the fact that I haven't been blogging much, I am very grateful for all the wonderful people I have met through Caffeine Court.
Stay safe and I will be back in 2011!