The hazards of cycling

I wrote recently of the things that piss me off, with number 6. being;

6. Super commuters racing you when you're on your way home from a 2–3 hour ride in the morning, and they're doing their 5km push to town, like really!

Today I was lucky enough to encounter a super hubbardus maximus, more commonly known as a super hubbard to the power of maximum.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of super hubbards out there. Many of them are nice, friendly, caring cyclists that just have a penchant for neon or hi-viz gear, bar-end or helmet attached mirrors, and unusually long, grey beards. These guys (and girls, I hear facial hair becomes more common in women with age) are the cream of the crop, lovely types that cycle for fun and fitness blah blah blah.

Where the super hubbard steps over the line from friendly cruiser to fucktard, is in an instance like today's.

I had been out to Samford, and not feeling particularly inspired, I decided to come home and do a bit of the flat bikepath to make up a couple of hours. I am on Samford rd waiting at the lights at the intersection between Upper Kedron Rd and Samford Rd. A super hubbardus maximus comes from Upper Kedron Rd, and makes it round the corner a bit before the light goes green for me.

Having no intention or inclination to really do any intensity today, I ride tempo up the climb that follows on Samford rd, catching up to the super hubbard, in his smallest gear, spinning haphazardly like a kitchenaid mix-master on the blink. It was not pretty and looked like an accident waiting to happen as he swayed on the road.

The road flattened and then kicked up again, and when there was a wide enough shoulder to pass safely I did so.

Aha! This is where it becomes super hubbardy to the maximus—descending down past Keperra towards Mitchelton, the road is thick with traffic and there is no shoulder. The road is also a bit botchy in places. Fat hubbard decides that as he is a supreme descender, he must overtake me (because it's not that he weighs 30kg more than me that he goes faster down the hill, it's because he's faster...right?).

Look I have no problem with people passing me, even on a descent if they look like they're going somewhere in a hurry and they're keeping it moving.

What I DO have a problem with is a few things in today's instance;
1. I overtook him like he was standing still, and dropped him;
2. he accelerated (like a botchy mix-master, mind you) to get past me;
3. on a dodgy piece of road;
4. that was chockers full of traffic;
5. hence endangering both himself and I as he swung out into the middle of the left lane, no doubt without a glance;
6. the traffic topped a few hundred meters after that, and I was stuck behind i, who was stuck behind a van (struggling to get his feet out of the pedals, mind you!).

So you can see there are a few things wrong with this picture. And I wonder to myself—would this happen so frequently if I was a guy? I don't know, but I am guessing it would happen less.

As he stopped at Mitchelton, I said, "mate, that was unsafe and you need to learn some bike etiquette and skills". He, of course, had his ipod on (lovely look along with crappy XC helmet, skins with running shorts over the top, Black Wolf back-pack and black singlet, exposing his tuckshop-lady arms.

He didn't hear me, or perhaps he was relishing his reverse-king-of-the-mountain in suburbia victory and was bathing in his own twat-like glory.

Anyhoo, as the traffic moved off along Samford rd, and I turned off towards the bike path, I yelled out a final "Get some fucking bike skills" as he struggled to clip into his pedal. He would have heard that one, I'm sure.

The fundamentals of a good education...study hard, and wear the right jeans!!!

It happens every year at this time. We gather our children, our credit cards and all our patience, jump in the S.U.V. and make the trek to our local mall for the annual back to school shopping spree!

As I browsed the aisles of the Monmouth Mall Justice Store (the world's tackiest and most overpriced chain for girls), I started thinking about how nice it would be to have school uniforms for my daughters.

No more worrying about cool sneakers, or the right jeans. Every morning I'd just pull out the official uniform and send the girls on their merry way.

I did a little Google search on school uniforms in the public schools and came up with this article at Public School Review.

Although uniforms have been a mainstay of private schools, public schools jumped on the bandwagon in 1994, when the California school district of Long Beach implemented school uniforms. According to the Long Beach school district, within one year after the implementation of uniforms, the fights and muggings at school decreased by 50%, while committed sexual offenses were reduced by 74%. Across the country, similar statistics abound; for example, at Ruffner Middle School in Norfolk, the number of discipline referrals decreased by 42% once uniforms were enforced.

Subsequently, fueled by these statistics, more schools across the country are implementing uniforms in public schools. Nonetheless, there are other statistics that argue that uniforms are not as beneficial as school administrators believe. Thus, the question still remains: are public school uniforms good for your child?

The benefits of public school uniforms: safer campus with renewed focus on academics

There are fundamentally two benefits associated with school uniforms: a focus on learning, as well as a reduction of violence on campus.

More conducive learning environment

Many school administrators and parents believe that uniforms create a better learning environment at school. First and foremost, students are not distracted by how they look, and therefore, spend more time learning at school. The peer pressures of stylish dressing with the “best” brands are alleviated, and students can focus more upon their schoolwork, rather than social appearances. In fact, the socioeconomic differences present among students are equalized with school uniforms, minimizing the pressure to “fit in” with the right clothing choices.

According to the School Administrator publication, along with school-reported statistics, the mandate of uniforms on campuses has reduced tardiness, skipped classes, suspensions, and discipline referrals.

In addition, with the visual uniformity present across all students, the instance of school pride has increased. Similar to athletic team uniforms, dressing cohesively increases pride, unity, and a renewed commitment to the school. With uniforms, a more professional tone is set in school, encouraging students to take their studies more seriously.

Creates a safer campus

Secondly, uniforms at school reduce the prevalence of violence, which is a major concern for many public schools. First and foremost, outsiders who do not belong on campus are easily identified, and thus, do not pose a great threat to the students.

Uniforms also reduce the “cliques” and gangs on school campuses. When it is not easy to identify members of gangs, the fights and violence decrease. According to PHS commentator Melissa Nitsch, “when everyone looks alike, there is less risk of being caught in gang fights for wearing the wrong color. With uniforms, no one is killed over a pair of Nikes or a Starter jacket.” Students can no longer be disrupted by who is wearing which gang color, and therefore, the campus is kept safer with less incidences of fighting.

The disadvantages: limitation of personal expression and comfort

Denial of self-expression

The opponents of public school uniforms, as outlined by the ACLU’s argument for the First Amendment, argue that uniforms stifle a student’s need for self expression. Students need to be encouraged to embrace their individualism, and uniforms deny that self-expression. According to opponents of uniforms, even preschoolers should have input into their wardrobe, and the need to encourage personality confidence and independence grows more important as the student becomes older. Without the outlet of expression in their clothes, students may turn to inappropriate hair styles, jewelry, or make-up.

Harms transition into adulthood

Denying students their ability to express individualism and belief in a sub-culture, whether preppy, hip-hop, punk, or jock, could stymie the students’ transition from childhood into adulthood. Controlling the socialization process could harm the student as an adult, as they are not prepared for the real world, where they will indeed by judged by their appearances.

Potential discomfort for students

In addition, others argue that uniforms may not be comfortable for all students. As it is important to ensure that the student is comfortable in order to maximize learning outcomes, uniforms may stymie academic focus.

The mixed responses

Whereas some parents believe that uniforms are more cost-effective than purchasing the latest stylish clothes, other parents argue that the cost of uniforms is steep. Typically, uniforms are more expensive up-front, as the parent must invest in all of the staples; however, as the school year progresses, there are less purchases that need to be made. On the other hand, students cannot wear their uniforms outside of school, and thus, there is the double-cost of both uniforms and a casual wardrobe.

In conclusion, the decision of school uniforms is not a black and white one. The arguments are best summed up by Dr. Alan HIlfer, a senior child and adolescent psychologist: “Uniforms do eliminate competition, pressure, and assaults perpetuated by older kids on younger kids for their sneakers and possessions. They also allow some kids to focus better, especially in the lower grades… [However], clothes are a source of expression for children, and as kids get older, they become increasingly resentful of uniforms.”

Deciding whether uniforms are right for your child depends upon the individual circumstances. If your child has a high need for self-expression, then uniforms may create unhealthy resentment. On the other hand, if you believe that your child needs to focus more on academics than physical appearances, then uniforms may help level the social pressures associated with independent dressing. Understanding what elements are most important for you and your child will help you determine if school uniforms are a right fit.


As always, I'd love to know what you think about this. I know my 5th grader would hate the idea of wearing a uniform. She loves shopping and would despise having to wear the same thing everyday.

On the other hand, wearing a uniform might take some of the focus away from fashion and put attention on academics.

Maybe it doesn't matter.

So tell me.

Do clothes make (or break) the student?