The Single Speed Wrap


So, it's now Wednesday eve and I have had some time to digest the events of the past weekend. I am still in sleep-debt and I am walking around with crusty bits in my eyes after falling asleep at uni lectures, but for all it's worth—it was worth it!

Despite my having a fabulous time at ASSNC2010, I was far to busy doing stuff to take any photos, so I apologise for this being a wordy, unillustrated and therefore likely very boring account of what was a very un-boring weekend.

So we drove all day Friday, once again skipping class to do something more exciting. It was a quick trip, with a lap of Ourimbah on the way to keep me from being stir crazy (happens frequently). A beer and meal with old mates at the Mosman hotel, we stayed with our buddies Andy and Kelsey in Sydney overnight before making the remainder of our trip to Canberra.

The racing started at about 9.30am. We arrived at Majura Pines—race HQ extraordinare—at about 9.20am. Not much time for fussing, we kitted up, looking serious in our lycra amongst the zebra and swamp-monster costumes flaunted by other dedicated mono-gearers.

The hill climb was first. Already at this stage having had four consecutive nights of sub 5 hours sleep, and with no beer on board and no warmup, my lungs stung as I schlepped up the hill in a massively slow time after running a section, then having a very public binning of myself on the finish line—the flat section of the course.

I still don't really know what went on, what I hit or how I ended up on the ground, all I know that out of about 115 riders, I was second last, and everyone else was watching me bin it. I nearly pissed myself laughing!

The Individual Time Trial (or ITT) was nestled in the rocky, rooty, fun part of Majura, and riding a practice lap I was convinced it would take me four years to get through it. Alas, the race run was marginally better, and well rewarded with a peanut-butter sandwich, a long-black coffee and a Cooper Mid-strength beer—a winning combination!

Despite my repeated attempts to study, Canberra is a cold and hostile environment and I found myself partaking in the 16" girls bike four cross racing to warm up, at which I sucked. However, I did somehow manage to take out the skid comp, and even had a go at the Barbie-bike toss. Alas, my lack of gym work was shown up, as after an almighty throw, the Barbie-bike landed squarely two metres in front of me. Something to work on for next year's game plan, though.

Laksa, wine and beer that night, we had a fabulous eve of camping on the ground—waking up every twenty minutes because your hip/back/arms have fallen asleep on the hard ground.


The race-faces pre XC—courtesy of the lovely Gaye Camm

The next morning's main event—the XC race—featured a few worse-for-wear faces, often paired with a beer in hand (...at 8am, oh how I love singlespeeding!). The gun went off, and nearest competitor Trudy Nicholas took off ahead of me. Knowing she likes to lead, I let her go until the beer shortcut, where she declined the offer of a tasty alchoholic beverage to go ride the ITT course.

Having faith in my beer drinking skills—if little else—I marched through, and had the whole thing down in under a minute, riding shakily off into the next section. I can tell you—it's great up until a point, and then it gets bad.

I was hurting bad on my third lap. There were a few emergency vomits, due to the beer tent being placed strategically before the toughest pinch climb in the race, but I made it through unscathed (albeit for vomit-encrusted shoes!). Laps 4 and 5, I had Kath, Bec and Gaye acting as designated drinkers, which was nice. In terms of saving time, I don't think it was much better, but in terms of having me continue in a semi-straight line it was a lifesaver.

Despite me feeling like I had blown up like an atomic bomb, I somehow struggled through. The last lap was a headgame. I saw a red jersey through the trees—I was sure it was Trudy catching me! I felt like I was riding incredibly slowly for most of the race, and hey, I probably was for much of it. It's singlespeeding—recover when you can, and drink beer if you can't. But when I saw that red jersey through the trees at the end of the race, gee whiz did I turn myself inside out!

I finished and had a bit of a lie down. Someone handed me a beer.  The mystery rider that was catching me wasn't Trudy at all. She was wearing a white jersey that day. Obviously a little beer-affected then!

Aido also managed to win his battle for the title, taking the win over rival over-the-ditcher Garth.

So we are now the cutest couple in Australian Singlespeeding. Or the most badass...or whatever.

What we weren't too convinced about was the obligatory Australian National Singlespeed Champion tattoo....the design put forth to us was a beer glass with a floating cog, and some text making reference to the race.

We weren't too keen about living with that stamped on us for the rest of our lives...but you aren't the champ if you don't have the tatt.

So we compromised, and now are back to the daily grind after the epic schlepp back up the east coast.

Huge mega-epic shout out to Mike and Bec and all the COGS people that made it happen. It was a great weekend! And thanks to Lightning Biknell, Romeo, Gaye, Alchemist, V'n'Gav, and FranShazzie for partaking in having an awesome time with me!

Next year—to Brisbane? I can see it now...B.U.M.S (Brisbane United Monospeeding Society...)