TCR—Team Cupcake Racing

It's true, despite how hilariously stupid and kitsch it may seem, that I harbor a long-held dream to set up an awesome Australian mountain bike race team called Team Cupcake Racing (TCR).

Ideally there would be some sponsor involvement, Cannondale, Oakley, Cyclinic and KOM...with the additional sponsorship of someone like Greens or Betty Crocker. Alternatively, it would consist of stops at Woolies before races to pick up bargain-buy pre-made cupcakes, of sugary, trans-fatty goodness.

Anyway, this brings me to the kit design...what sort of cupcake would feature on the jersey's and kicks and dare I say cupcake arm warmers?

As I trawl through loads of cyber junk looking for an answer to this cupcake-jersey-conundrum, I stumble upon a veritable library of cupcakes at CuteAddict's blog.

In terms of cupcake awesomeness, I like the pac-man cupcakes:

Yet I struggle to find a non-phallic explanation for these ones (from a purely Freudian analysis, something happened to this cupcakes creator very early on in the piece...). They're also called 'dude cakes' um...:

Anyway, if I was a cupcake that looked like a 'dude cake', I would certainly contemplate doing this:

Anyway, this brings me no closer to a jersey design for my awesome dirt-bike racing team, except that I know for sure that I am not having dick-cakes on it.

Cupcakes with teeth, sure. Maybe even a skinsuit—yeah baby. Imagine that—a skinsuit with supcakes all down the arms, on the pockets. That would be totally hardcore.

I mean, not everyone respects the cupcake—despite their universal appeal in sweet sugary-frosted form—as a legitimate jersey adornment.

But anyway, cupcakes on a skinsuit would surely be a better choice than a skin-colored one, right? Especially a ginger-nut running a skin-coloured skinsuit with a leaf printed on his nads...eeeew!

Anyway, I need to find people other than me who want to ride TCR. I may be a solo soldier for the cause for a while...