Kids teach us the darndest things!!

I learned a new term today. From my 9 year old daughter's best friend. That term is "Crisco."

What does it mean to describe someone as "Crisco?"

(If you don't already know, I'll provide the answer tomorrow.)

My newest strategy...

Sorry about all the tennis posts, but it IS USTA and French Open time!!!

I don't know if you've seen Michelle Larcher de Brito play, but she might be on to something!

Watch the video. This is what I'm doing next match. It's legal, so why not?

I did the best I could...

My dreaded tennis match is over. I didn't get lucky. My opponent had two very good hands. She wasn't grossly overweight and it appears she had 20/20 vision. She was in perfect health. All that and she was an amazing tennis player to boot.

To say I was intimidated would be an understatement. But I held it together and gave her quite a battle. I made her earn every point and I played the best tennis of my life.

In the end, I was defeated 6-4, 3-6, 2-6.

I can't be to hard on myself because I fought as hard as I could from start to finish.

She was just better than me.

Do I think back and wonder why I didn't hit more shots to her forehand or rush net a little more? Sure I do. But I'm still proud of myself. If I were one of my own mom I'd take me out for ice cream and pat myself on the back for a job well done.

After all, it's not whether you win or's how you play the game.

Isn't that what all the losers say? ;)

Do you tell them?

Yesterday, I wanted to show Shaun and Jenn the funny talking baby girl from my previous post. I had to link them to my blog. Shaun says "Is this you? Did you do all this?"
Um, yes.

Emily knows about my blog, she checks it from school and uses pictures from it for reports, and so does Kerry, I guess no one shared the info with Shaun, my parents hear a bit about it but I don't think they have been here.
If you blog, does your family know about it?

And in other news...
Poor Emily found out the hard way.
She says to me as we are listening to Fat Bottom Girls by Queen..."I like Queen better than the Beatles."
Me: Me too, but why?
Her: The Beatles did drugs and drank a lot.
Me: {snicker} And you don't think Queen did?
Her: Well, the Beatles had songs like Yellow Submarine and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, those are about drugs.
Me:Have you ever seen Freddy Mercury?
Her: No.
Me: You need to. There were some drugs involved there, maybe even a bit of alcohol.
Her: The Beatles did have nice haircuts.
So just for Emily...
Remember, the way a person dresses doesn't dictate how they sing.

Totally smashed

I am so totally smashed that it's ridiculous.

And Aiden is riding to Cairns—it's just Mondo and I.

Neighbours looks surprisingly appealing...

Are women born this way?

What does it mean when your husband sends this to you from work?


I just talked on the phone for the first time with one of my blog friends!!!

Kind of sad actually, I've been doing this blog thing for almost 2 years and I've never managed to have a face to face, or even a conversation with any of my virtual buds. Until today.

One of my favorite blog buddies, Connie from Mrs. K gave me a pre-match pep talk to get me psyched for tomorrow. She had the cutest little accent and a killer attitude.

When I asked if I sound like I'm from Jersey she told me I sound like Teresa from Real Housewives. So after I'm done my tennis match I'll be calling a professional voice coach to work on my diction!!! Ba da bing!!

Hey, at least she's honest. I like that in a person.

We're considering taking our relationship to the next level soon and perhaps play a doubles match together the next time I'm in Florida.

So I have to make my new coach proud tomorrow and GO FOR IT!!!
In the meantime, if you'd like to hear my voice and see if I do, in fact, sound like a mafia wife from North Jersey, shoot me an e-mail with your phone number and give me a buzz.

I look forward to chatting with you!


I received this from my blog friend, Lisa Howard. I've never actually met her, but I think I found her through Karen Russell's Photography Workshop's student list. Lisa's a great story teller, check her out.
I'm going to pick 6 people that inspire me and pass the badge on to them. I'm picking based on blogs that I visit daily for inspiration, if I don't pick you, it's not that I don't like you.
1. Amy
5. Rae
6. C.D.
Put the badge on your blog, and list 6 people that inspire you! If I didn't list your name, you can still do this, because you inspire me too!


Just when I thought I was getting my life back on track...the French Open starts.

It's on the Tennis Channel all day long. Oh, mon Dieu!

In other news, have any of you seen the movie "Taken" with Liam Neeson? It seems I'm hearing so much about it lately. If you saw it, what do you think? Thumbs up?

I'm playing again on Thursday. They're giving me another chance at #1 singles after my humiliation at the hands of that spry old woman.

God give me strength.

Maybe I'll get lucky and play an 80 year old woman. Or maybe a blind woman. Or someone with no hands.

Hope springs eternal here at Caffeine Court.

Au revoir. Me souhaiter bonne chance!!!

Dear Mama

Dear Mama,
When you said "Let's go to the creek for a swim" I should have paid attention to what you had in your hand. I didn't see the bar of handmade, all natural baby soap that you got at the Farmer's Market on Wednesday. I didn't see my brush. I just heard "Let's go".
When we go to the creek and you told dad that it was super deep, I didn't listen either. And when dad agreed because the swimming hole looked like it was about 3 feet under the creek, I still was too excited. So when this happened..."Help me, Mama, I can't get back to you". I should have known better.
And when you yelled "Stand up, it's only a foot deep!" I was a little embarassed.

And when Dad said "Go that way, you goof", I knew the fun was over. I never saw the bar of soap come out, and I didn't enjoy the bum washing, which I'm sure you didn't enjoy either.

I decided not to go back into the creek, soapy bum is better than embarassed bum, dispite the mess it makes in the van. It does smell better.

I just wanna go home, Mama.

But in the end, a trip home, and then next door to see Kelly-Next-Door to have my bum trimmed wasn't on my agenda. I do have to say my bum feels better, it's much smaller now. And those other furless kids keep telling me it's cute, my little Bear Bum. Having my paws and leg feathers trimmed makes my legs look longer and I can run faster. I'm more aerodynamic now.
So thanks again, Mama, for the okay day!
Loves and Kisses,
P.S. Kelly-Next-Door says that it's not right to send me over smelling like baby soap and fried onions, the onions made her hungry. I guess it is better than sending me over smelling like poop and creek.

K's in the sunshine after the rain.

Today was the first semi-decent, non-raining day in at least a week. For those who aren't watching the Australian news with zeal, Brisbane was hit with torrents of rain throughout this week, more than the city has had in 20 years.

It's been wind-trainer highway for the past week, as well as a bit of running and a touch of the flu.

Many things have happened, I bought a dress for the weeding (alas, not a wedding dress), the computer blew up, we did a Cycling Australia coaching course, and to top it off, we went and did 150km on the bike today followed by obsessive-compulsive levels of cleaning around the house.

What is really exciting for me at the moment is my new specialized Phenom SL 175g saddle (See pic below—Andy, I will send you the invoice).

It's awesome, all the comfort of my Alias lady saddle, but without the unneccesary bulk of the depth of padding (which is nice—I have never really been that excited about ladies saddles!). The men's saddle means that it is nice an narrow, too, and fits my tucchus nicely (oi gevalt!).


Not the best pictures, but here's a couple of our neighbour's brand new Sheltie puppies. All 6 are girls. They are under a red heat lamp and not in Hell, just incase you were wondering. I think they are 3 weeks old, as of yesterday.

I made this card to send my friend Nancy's new grandbaby, Lyla Belle. I used very cute October Afternoon paper and tag.
I bought a new stamp set, Totally Tools, and thought it would make a great One-Sheet-Wonder class. And for the first time, I didn't mount the stamp set the way it should be, I didn't even put the stickers on it. I cut the words and tools apart, and mounted them on seperate sides of the block. Can you believe it?

Summer Reading

Summer means free time, which means you can finally read books for pleasure instead of ones about Pavlov and his damn classical conditioning.

Here is my current list:
Norwegian Wood Haruki Murakami
Lolita Vladimir Nabokov
An Ordinary Man Paul Rusesabagina
Gravity's Rainbow Thomas Pynchon

Here's to summer!

It's on sale!

The Cuz It's Your Birthday kit is on sale at Art Freckles, go check it out. Take the plunge, get a kit mailed to you!

Cake Wrecks

My imaginary friend, Amy, she lives in Disneyland, got me hooked on this site. I might have shared it with you before...
I don't check daily, but maybe weekly. And when I do, I chuckle out loud. Then I feel like an idiot for chuckling out loud, then I look at the next cake and I do it all over again.
Thanks, Amy, for the laughs.

Life is like a rollercoaster...

Full of highs and lows. Sometimes you're a superstar. Other times, a you're a big fat loser.

Today I was a big, fat loser. I lost my singles match 6-2, 6-2 to a 70 year old woman with huge boobs and skinny little chicken legs.

I felt like my worst tennis nightmare was coming true. In the first set she had me down 5-0 in less than half an hour. I suddenly came out of my fundraiser induced trance and realized I might not get even one game off the old gal.

I gave her a good fight from that point forward, but it wasn't enough. DAMN she was GOOD!!Justify Full

I looked her up on the USTA website after the match. She plays on SEVEN different teams. SEVEN!!!! I barely have time for one. Damn. How the hell do you compete with that?

I think I'm going to have to give up housework, cooking and all volunteering at the school and start training in earnest.

My husband and family will just have to understand. My responsibilities are getting in the way of a winning tennis season!! These losses go down on my permanent tennis record.

This is a very serious situation.

Time to go sulk.

The Casualties of Gardening

I don't LOVE birds, they can peck your eyes out, they fly, enough said, but I don't wish harm to them either. That being said, I do wish whom ever is eating my tender little baby plants to curl up and die. Kind of. So little quail with your cute/freaky bobbly thing on your head, take a hike!

I did the count this morning...the death count is...
1 leaf lettuce plant, with numerous other plants 'neatly' trimmed on each leaf
2 marigolds, a 3rd with the flowers popped off, who does that?
3 basil plants, 1 died of natural causes

This was last year's basil, beautiful, lush, alive, in a pot on the patio.
If those little critters eat my spaghetti squash plants, it will be all out war.
Same with my zuchini, this is last year's plant. See the baby zuke?

This was my last year's garden watcher. I didn't enjoy seeing the 'meat eaters' snacking on little critters, but if they could show up a few times this year, make their noise, flap their wings, scare some quail, I wouldn't be opposed to it. Because I didn't spend more money than I should have and Mother's Day weekend busting my hump so that the cute little quail could use my garden as a smorgasbord.

Queensland Cycling legislation states that...

Riding on the footpath (s288)

In Queensland, cyclists of any age are allowed to:

ride on a footpath unless prohibited by a 'NO BICYCLES' sign—you must give way to pedestrians and ride in a manner that does not inconvenience or endanger other footpath users.

Hence, pushing someone on a bike off the footpath onto the main road would be an offence (I mean pushing anyone anywhere is an offence, if we want to get down to it...)

A full run-down of the laws can be found here.

Small-minded people make me boil with anger, especially when doubled with a dose of the crazies.

One down, one to go...

Today's fundraiser was quite a success. Here's a shot of the auction table...

And here's one of me and my gals...I don't know why they're so grainy. But I'm too tired to fix it today. Maybe tomorrow, after my big singles match at 10. Wish me luck.

Miss you.

My day to post

Check out the Artfreckles blog. It's my day/week to post. I'm showcasing the Cuz It's My Birthday kit. I'm really happy to be on the design team. Lots of great gals, super friendly! So head over, check it out, join the group...

Sad news

My cousin's mother-in-law had a tragic motorcycle accident this weekend in Maple Ridge or the surrounding area. She died from her injuries. Kim, Stu, Owen and Quinlynn are in our thoughts.

Sunny series photos

It takes concentration on this type of descent...

A steep one here...I swear my bike is in a whole other country from me in this pic

Sweepee making it all look easy

Going going....gone!

The new Cyclinic kit is sweeet!

Mountain biking/hiking/photography

2 days in a row, I have gotten up before 7 am and said "Kerry, let's go get some pictures!" and we have hiked up Crawford, in different areas so that I could practice taking pictures. I'm sore. I've been packing my tripod, flash, 2 lenses, camera, and snacks in my back pack, I'm sure it's over 20 lbs. of stuff. Both days have been many hours of walking, Day 2 was lots of up hill, steep down hill. But I made it without sliding down any of those hills.

Day 1: overcast, mosquitos, long hike in, but flat. Dark, forested area with small pockets of light. 177 pictures, about 110 less than stellar shots, like the following. Dark, grainy.
Day 2: sunny, no mosquitos, over dressed. Bright, burned out area so there are no trees with branches, just charred tree trunks. No shade, no shadows, still working on the action shots. 275 shots, 175 decent/not to shabby if I do say so myself. I'm shooting in AV mode, and am thinking that I have to switch out of it for some of the action shots. I've tried panning but I haven't quite got the hang of it.

The blurry action shots.

The nothing special action shot.

The arrow was cut by my dad and his chain saw.

Linus drinking from Kerry's Camelback. The nice picture.

The not-so-nice picture. Love the water droplets, dislike the werewolf-like teeth.The best shot. When I was a baby, my parents got me this Winnie the Pooh, he's at least 3 feet tall. Last year, my mom wanted to throw him out. My dad had better plans for him. He's a little shy. He used to have a red shirt on, but it's long gone and no one likes hanging in a tree naked. He belongs here...see, Teddy Bear Junction.
The boys, after the ride, hanging out in the back of the truck having a drink.

All photos are SOOC.

Weekend at Caboolture...???

Who would have thought that hanging out around Caboolture could be fun?

Commonly referred to as the armpit of Brisbane, it is surprising what the outskirts of the town can offer.

Ah yes, just another week bike racing. The Sunshine Series round four was held at D'Aguilar, close to Caboolture, on a hilly and technical course with a beautiful backdrop of rolling green hills.

Aido and I had our new Cyclinic kit on, and rocked up early to a chilly 10 degrees on the hilltop.

Following a practice lap—with a white-knuckle descent breaking up the paddock bashing and fire-road dominated course—we shot off in our respective categories.

Having been sick for about a week, I was quite content to toodle along and finish the course, especially as I was unnecessarily wigged out about the descent. Instead of sprinting off the line—my favourite trick—I decided to take it a bit easier and play the goat.

I led out Erin for the first lap she overtook me on the technical descent and then I followed her through the second lap. Through this lap, I was a bit worried that the speed we were racing at wasn't going to be high enough to fend off the other girls, so once again taking her line down the descent, I teetered on the tip of my saddle up the nasty fire-road climb, just trying to stick in front.

It worked, and so i just tried to hold that position, not really feeling the best or trying to smash it. My head was throbbing and I was just trying to hold on. I ended up losing two minutes on my last lap due to catastrophic failure on the descent (and I was riding so well until then!) and general fried-ness from the hot sun and the hard climbs.

Alas, I held on to the lead by a pretty good margin anyway, and found myself struggling to pop champagne on the top of the podium. Hurrah!

However, I would like to raise a point about gender inequality. How is it that despite doing the same training, having the same lung-busting pain on the climbs and requiring technical ability on the descents (just like the boys) women still find themselves stuck in a paradigm whereby men—simply my having a cock and balls (or ball if you're Lance Armstrong, but I digress...) find themselves coming off financially better after a win?

It boggles the mind.

Quick little update

1. made it through fasting, even though toast making at the school made my tummy growl.
2. the lab was not busy, and no scuzzies were around, well, except for the one woman that was at the lab and had her thong pulled up at least 6 inches above her jeans, they were not low rider jeans, it was not a sexy thong, it didn't look like a clean thong, and she was not young.{shivers}
3. the 'vampire' took my blood with great care, no pain, no fainting, very gentle and she tried so hard to take my mind off of the whole ordeal by talking about dogs.
4. I was going to go shoe shopping after, but decided not to. Got a Mediteranean Market sub instead, went to the scrapbook store, didn't buy anything.
5. Went bride's maid dress shopping late afternoon and found THE dresses.
6. Shaun and I made Cheemo perogies for dinner and they were so good.
7. ate a donut, went into a coma.
8. got some scrapbooking done, for the Artfreckles June kit. The July and Aug. kit are in the mail!

I've gotta be honest with you...

I'm really surprised that I didn't get much response to my information on the mating habits of penguins.

Do you secretly think I'm whacked and decided not to comment on my bizarre observation? Did anyone wonder WHY I mentioned penguins engaging in intercourse?

Well, even if you didn't really care about my comment, I'm going to explain why I know about penguins in heat.

On Wednesday I accompanied my daughter on her kindergarten class trip to the aquarium.

As we sat in front of the penguin exhibit, our tour guide was giving a little lecture on the "ins and outs" of penguins. WHAT A COINCIDENCE...because as he explained the "ins and outs" of penguins, there were two penguins lying on the ground GOING AT IT!!!

The whole time he had his back to the display, a penguin porno show was going on. Unbelievably none if the children commented on, or even noticed the lovemaking session going on right before their very eyes.

The mom next to me did, however, notice.

As the class moved on to the seal exhibit we asked out tour guide if the one penguin on top of the other bouncing up and down rhythmically was indeed attempting to impregnate his girlfriend. We were correct. It's springtime, and the penguins are going at it like rabbits.

So there you have it. I've got nothing more to say.

Do not panic, do not panic...

That's what I'm repeating to myself right now. Do not panic.
After I had the blood tests with dreaded fasting, I called the dr.'s office and was told the tests looked fine but if I had any questions, I could come in. I figured fine was good. Then just now the dr.'s office calls and says that the dr. wants me to go back to the lab, ASAP, and donate more blood for testing. WHAT the H? No fasting, just do it. Did they not get enough the first time? Did some lab tech dump my precious ruby red blood? Did they discover my blood has antibodies in it to cure all the worlds diseases and they are going to drain it from me a little vial at a time?

As I pressed Publish Post the phone rang. Do not panic. It's the dr.'s office again, oh, maybe they made a mistake, no, they didn't, it's even worse, in my opinion. I can ONLY have the tests done at the downtown lab. Yikes, donate blood and go downtown.
OMG...she just called again. YES I must fast. SHEEEET, go downtown, donate my precious, and don't eat for 10-14 hours. Lord love a duck. When I asked what the dr. thinks is wrong, I was told I was being tested for...and I wrote this down fast...calcium, albium{don't know if I even heard or wrote that down correctly}, phosphates and thryroid. I've been tested for thryroid so many times now. Do not panic.

Updated again:
OH freak! I just googled everything and why I would be getting tested for those things and it's lots of gloom and doom. It might be albumin, not albium.
On the bright side, I guess, if they do find something, then that would explain things.

Taking a time out from the chaos.

Holy hell. It's been an exhausting couple of weeks.

I sit here surrounded by a mess of a house absolutely LOVING getting back to my blog.

Here are some things I've learned this week.

1. Penguins sometimes mate in the "missionary position" beak to beak. It's quite romantic.

2. Working on fundraisers is for the very wealthy or super organized. Those of us who are neither will have everything in their home in complete disarray during the period in which their lives are dedicated to procuring donations, cataloging them and making up pretty baskets. So don't be thinking you're so cool Jill Zarin. Try running a fundraiser without a lackey doing all your laundry and cleaning your toilets. I DOUBLE DOG DARE you!!!

3. Wicker and/or rattan furniture is expensive as hell. So are nice cushions.

4. When you let the cleaning lady you've had for 8 years go, she will be VERY sad. And so will you.

5. It's amazing the difference having a nice USTA team tennis captain makes. No stress, no tension, no mind games, no gossip. Weird. In a good way.

Okay, that's all I've got. I can't write about "The Real Housewives of NYC Reunion" OR the premiere of "The Real Housewives on NJ."


Because I fell sound asleep last night after eating my birthday cake. Getting older has that effect on me.

Need a good laugh?

You will feel so much better about your photography skills and those old family portraits you have hidden in your closet.


I've seen these boxes all over the place, but never tried to make one. But I was cleaning off my desk and found the instructions all printed out and thought I'd try it.
I used Raspberry Tart from Stampin' Up for this one.

And October Afternoon Weathervane for this one. I love that paper.
Emily thinks they are awesome. Kerry thought they were pretty neat but then just like a guy, he says "And what is it for?"
See if he gets any goodies in a fancy box any time soon.

Thoughts and Prayers boxed cards

Maybe buying this set, Thoughts and Prayers, set the pace for the year. I had said I didn't have a sympathy set and hadn't needed one. But then I needed one sympathy card, so I bought the set and told Kerry that I thought this was the year of funerals for us. And that's when it started. We have been a few between the two of us now, more than we have in all our years together. I decided to make a bunch of sympathy cards and matching box, some I cased right from SCS, and a couple are my own.
I think I'll offer this box and cards as a class. I'm sure I'm not the only one with more funerals to go to than I want to.

The weekend that was.

The weekend was rad, with a capital R-A-D.

Our buddies Andy and Kelsey came all the way from Sydneytown to spend some time with us. Sadly, I had to work on Friday, but the good news was that it was working at my favourite job—makin' coffee and spinning yarns at Sol Breads cafe in West End.

Hopefully there will be photographic evidence of this, and I am sending him an invoice for the saddle—yeuch!

Kelsey and Andy and Brisbane

Because mum was away for the weekend—and hence mother's day—she came along to Sol for morning tea, and Aido drove Andy and Kelsey for morning tea and we had a big noisy morning tea together. It was good!

That night, we decided to show the southerners the way we o burhers in Brisbane, so we went to Grill'd in Ascot for a mighty dose of mustard and pickles in a sesame seed bun. Mmm.

We then moved to our loungeroom, where we drank G&T's and I promptly started to fall asleep on the couch. Yes, I am very tough...

Saturday was a whirlwind of getting up super early to do k's so that I could hand out with Kelsey at the Green Flea markets, West End, and check out all the hip and cool things at GOMA, Brisbane's answer to NY's MOMA (or something like that). We ate sandwiches, bought many organic fruit, veges, meat and far too much coffee (because that's really unusual for me...) and generally had a merry time.

We also went wedding dress shopping, but I have a feeling that kelsey and I have rather antithetical views on such things—Kelsey loving big dresses with frills and ruffles...and me, well, not so much.

All the shopping was wearing me down, so we caught the train home, made a curry and drank G&T's while watching Napolean Dynamite for the 7000th time, while I fell asleep on the couch (is there a theme developing here?).

Sunday was another hoot—smashing the SS early before a mothers day brekky with Andy's parents? Strange but true—his parents live on the Goldie. So we hung out at Harvey's on James Street, drank so much coffee that I jittered for the whole day, and perused the local shops. But I had to—it gave me the edge to survive our BBQ madness of Sunday eve.

And madness it was. It consisted of Stevie, my singlespeed, being violated through a 20 second 'house lap' consisting of riding down the drive beside the house, up the front stairs, through the house, out the rear verandah, down the stairs of doom (watch out for the laundry!) and a flat sprint to the far corner of the year, hairpin and back to the start/finish.

The house-lap madness begins.

It was, by all accounts, a technical house lap. I would report on who won, but I don't think that anyone really knows. I was out when I rode into the plants beside the 'technical' laundry section, having to plaster myself up with band-aids and ply myself with beer (we ran out of Gin), as a form of pain relief.

I guess the most memorable thing—though I keep asking myself whether it actually did happen—was when we were haing a runners vs. riders house lap, which consisted of Mallet, Rowan and myself (runners) versus Andy (on Stevie). We smashed him, and were through the start finish before he even rode down the stairs.

It was immediately apparent why.

Andy rode down the stairs—a big, white and brown streak of nude body atop my poor bike. Am pretty sure the brown bits were merely tanlines, but I digress...

Andy and my poor bike

Now our Sydney buddies have gone, though they have left their mark here in Brisbane (at least on my saddle, anyway).

it's back to the daily grind, and it's killing me. I am living for the weekend.