More dirt on "The Real Housewives of NYC!!"

After watching her little confrontation with Bethenny, I'm not surprised. She has a screw loose!!

The Real Housewives of New York City's Kelly Bensimon is in trouble! The forty-year-old former model and marathon runner is facing misdemeanor assault charges after she (allegedly) attacked her boyfriend Nick Stefanov.

Reportedly the feisty Kelly gave her boyfriend a black eye and a gash on his left cheek. Stefanov left the apartment and immediately went to the police department to file a report.

NYC Police Department told PEOPLE, "She was arrested on March 5 at 9: 10 a.m. for punching her fiance in the face, and [she] gave him a laceration under his left eye. She was arrested for assault - it's a misdemeanor."

Bensimon's lawyer, Stephen Turano, said she "has entered a plea of not guilty. We are confident that the charges are unfounded and we look forward to a quick resolution."

Some say the couple are engaged, but friends of Kelly's say, not true. "[Stefanov] is claiming that they were engaged, which is delusional. They have been on-and-off for three to three-and-a-half years, and during that time they were exclusive. She was always dating other people."

Pals say Kelly is "upset and embarrassed" by what's happened. She claims Stefanov has tried to contact her since the charges were filed.

Bensimon is due in court March 31. I wonder what her two children (with ex-husband Gilles Bensimon) think of what's happened? She's not sent a very positive message to her children has she? Although - innocent until proven guilty, right?

Real Housewives Newsflash...Thanks Mrs. K!!!

Just got this hot scoop from Connie aka Mrs. K...

Page Six broke the news that Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is now without a Count.

It seems that the Count, who is often overseas without his family for extended periods of time, has hooked up with an Ethiopian woman in Geneva. According to Page Six, the Count broke the news to his Countess of 16 years in an email. A source close to the title-obsessed housewife was quoted as saying, "She got wind he was seeing somebody and he didn't answer her when she called. He finally sent her an e-mail..." Classy!

The couple recently 'celebrated' their 16th wedding anniversary on March 16th, though it's been obvious to close friends that they've lived separate lives for years. But despite their distance, the Countess is said to be "devastated" and totally "blindsided" by the decision to officially separate.

A rep for the Countess, whose book on class and etiquette is due to hit stores next month, told Page Six, "It is obviously a very difficult time for the Countess and Count, but they plan to remain friends and their primary focus will be to do what is best for their two children."

And in case you're wondering, and we know you are, the Countess gets to keep her title - which of course is Countess. As in Countess LuAnn de Lesseps. The Countess. Not "Duchess LuAnn Chucklespoop" or "Countess LuAnn de Grimaceburglar" as Gawker has mistakenly referred to her in the past. It's Countess LuAnn de Lesseps. And referring to her by any other name would just be wrong and nothing at all to laugh at...or link to.

Ominous weather.

I am sitting at our decidedly fifties wine-glass breakfast table, in our retro red 50's chair, hoping that the weather will look a little more lively.

It's grey—again, and there's only so much greyness AB can handle before she spontaneously combusts and there's guts everywhere.

I have a PhD in procrastination and it's well used on days like today. I know I should go out riding, but would rather sit here and stare blankly into cyberspace for a few more minutes...

Weekend funness.

Last weekend consisted of singlespeeding, going up the coast, a lot of rain, a lot of creative work, and then a burger ride in between rain showers. We rode up to Montville along Kiel Mountain road, via Palmwoods. This route includes an awesome 6.5km climb, which is not nasty at all (well, depending on how your legs are feeling that day). However, the 20% pinch on the way back certainly sorts you out!

It's an awesome climb up to Montville from the coast. The town of Montville is on the Ridgeline, just up from Palmwoods or from Nambour then Mapleton if you come up that way. It's an amazing area, which you can see here!

Anyway, I have to go to work tody, which makes me incredibly sad, however, singlespeeding keeps me interested in life!

Google Analytics-Part 278

It's that time again...the time when I don't feel like being creative, so I head on over to Google Analytics and see what keywords have led web surfers to my humble little blog.

Here are the latest:

Simon's banana sling

Wrinkly old men body pictures

Seduce pizza guy

blackhead squeezer

caffeine makes you horny

gluttony pig
Kelly Ripa's ass

and last but not least

reverse testicle shrinkage!!!

So, if you ever need to learn about how to seduce a pizza guy wearing a banana sling with reverse testicle shrinkage, just head on over to Caffeine Court. I'm here to help.

Trust me...

The season premiere of "The Tudors" is one week away. If you don't watch it, you have one week to catch up. Go rent season one. If you have Showtime, watch season two on demand. Trust me, it's a wonderful show that has it all, sex, drama, great looking people and even some hard core violence. PLUS it's educational, because you learn a bit about the reign and marriages of King Henry VIII.

If you DO watch it...the first episode of season three is available on demand. I watched it already, and it rocks.

Carry on.

My blog is SO outed!

It's official. My blog is outed. The locals know about it. My world's have collided.

It's going to take some serious creativity to keep this thing interesting without pissing anyone off.

I have my work cut out for me.

I would like to thank those of you who answered my cry for comments. Like anything else, it's not as much fun when you have to beg for it, but I'll take whatever I can get.

Enjoy your Saturday, I'm going to a fundraiser tonight for my friend's family. As you may or may not remember her husband died in December. It should be a fun way to show our support for an amazing woman. Sad though, Joe will be missed tonight.

Double stupid or double fun?

The other day it was my birthday. Awesomeness. I awoke to little trails of brightly coloured easter eggs floating around the house, leading to little presents! I am a very lucky girl, and got the KRAM Cd, a new magnetic notepad for the fridge (hooray!) and a bike THE SIZE OF A TRUCK! Yes, that's right, my double-stupid idea of a wonderful singlespeed bike, which is also rigid and has 29" wheels has finally come to fruition! Crazy as it may seem, heavy as it may be (about 1 million kgs) it is truly awesome.

In fact, I don't know why Sydney singlespeeders have such an anti-29er stance. They rock. And getting your front wheel up over stuff on a rigid bike is not hard. (However, I am guessing falling off and having your bike land on top of you could be a bad thing....).

Having one gear isn't too bad. I took 'Stevie' on her maiden voyage today around Bunya. While there really isn't any massive climbs out there, the short steep ones hurt, but weren't unrideable. Ditto getting over stuff. Granted, it's not like riding the Sydney sandstone boulders and trails are pretty pruned, but there's more than enough logs around the place.

Anyway, I put the challenge out there to all Sydneysiders that reckon 29"ers are gay. they have no idea.

One of Life's Great Mysteries...

My blog gets over 6,000 hits a month. So why doesn't anyone comment?

Please comment.

Real Housewives of NYC-Just throwin' it out there...

As usual, there is so much to talk about. It seems the producers of the show have decided to zero in on specific people and spotlight their flaws. The past couple of weeks LuAnn was on the hot seat. Now the focus is on Kelly. In my next post we'll get into that, but right now I'd like to talk about Simon and Alex.

Since the first episode of the show, everyone has made it clear that they think Simon is gay. I have to admit that if we go by stereotypes, he certainly appears that way. He's into fashion and has an effeminate way about him. Here's the thing. Maybe he's not. Or if he is, maybe he doesn't know it, or chooses not to act on it. I have to give the guy some credit, he and Alex seem very happy. They have so much in common! I think they have a very unusual marriage, and it seems codependent, but it works for them.

Out of all the marriages on the show, I would say Ramona and Mario have the most "normal" one. They seem to really like each other. They goof around and have fun. Nothing suspicous here.

Jill's husband Bobby seems like a nice enough guy, but it looks to me that she's in it for the money. He's a sweet man who gives her whatever she wants, but when it comes right down to it, I think she's rather cuddle with her Chihuahua than Bobby.

And then there's LuAnn and the Count. Do they EVER see each other? They seem like a couple that lives completely separate lives. Maybe it works for them, but Simon and Alex appear to have a much more loving relationship than they do.

So what do you think? Is Simon gay? If so, does he know it and chooses not to act on it? Does Alex know he's gay and doesn't care?

Sure our country is in crisis, but let's not worry about that. We need to focus on the important things, like reality TV and the lives of complete strangers.

When I worry about their lives, my own troubles seem to melt away....

(Oh and I'm sure I'll get a note from their seems whenever I put one of their pictures on my blog I get an e-mail asking me to take it down!! Tee hee)

If you want to check out the Mc-Cord/Van Kempen on the link...

Ye Olde School of Hard Knocks

Meg (my 4th grader) brought home a sheet for social studies all about being a kid in colonial times.

One of the sections was about discipline in the schools.

Here are some of the ways teachers disciplined the kids, way back when. If a child talked too much they would strap a whispering stick in his mouth so you he couldn't talk, or they would clip their noses shut with pinchers. They hung signs around students' necks that said "crybaby" or "lazy." They also made children wear dunce hats.

We were cracking up reading this!

I remember in junior high our Principal had a paddle in his office that he would use on students. We actually had a corporal punishment permission slip sent home to our parents. If they signed it, then our teachers had permission to use physical force to keep us in line.

Fast forward to 2009, things are so politically correct!! I think it would be fun to do a "Colonial Times Day" at school. We could bring in some stockades and yardsticks and instill some old fashioned respect in our kids. Okay, calm down, I'm KIDDING don't you go calling DYFS on me.

But seriously, thank goodness we've moved beyond those days. So far beyond, in fact, that teachers are almost afraid to punish children. My father taught in a public high school and parents would freak out on him if he wanted to penalize their children for not doing their homework. The pendulum has swung in the complete opposite direction from 200 years ago. It seems that the teachers are on trial more than out of control students.

My children are very well behaved in school, but if they ever start acting out I want their teachers to have the authority to discipline them (not physically, of course ) and I want to hear about it. If parents aren't teaching their children how to behave and to complete their assignments they shouldn't complain when the teachers come down on them. They're just doing their job.

What do you think?

Stairway to Stardom (1984) - Lucille Cataldo

Would you let this woman cut your hair???

Shopping Bulimia

Have you ever heard of "shopping bulimia?" I thought I had it because I would often times go on one of my favorite websites, fill my shopping cart with things I love, and never buy them. Now that I've done some research, I think what I have would be described as "shopping constipation."

Shopping bulimia is, in fact, a phenomenon. There are several articles describing it in full detail.

Apparently their are two kinds of "shopping bulimia," one fraudulent and completely dishonest, the other merely annoying to store clerks.

The fraudulent type involves buying an item, or items of clothing for a special occasion, somehow keeping the tag on, or finding a way to reattach it and then returning said item to the store after wearing. I had a friend in high school and a sorority sister who both specialized in this type of scam. I remember feeling a little gypped that they got away with it. I never had the energy or nerve to try it myself. Now that I'm an adult with a fear of a criminal record principles and morals, I'm glad I never partook in this form of thievery. (Man, I'm judgemental!!)

It reminds me a bit of a buddy of mine who would lure me into late night feasts on Lucky Charms cereal, Haagen-Daz Ice-Cream and chocolate chip cookies after a night of heavy drinking. I gained 35 lbs. in a year, while she remained as skinny as a twig. I later discovered that she had bulimia in the true sense of the word. No fair!!! She tried to teach me how to do it, to no avail. I preferred being a size 12 to tasting my beer and Lucky Charms twice in a night! Once again, now that I am an adult with an awareness of the dangers of constant binging and purging, I'm glad I never mastered the art of shoving my first down my throat.

Back to shopping. The second form of shopping bulimia involves buying ungodly amounts of clothing and accessories. (Some people rack up bills of over $25,000 in one outing!) Once the shopping bulimic comes down from the high, she simply returns all the items for a refund. Much to the chagrin of commissioned salespeople.

Since I started my blog, my late night pretend on-line shopping sprees have come to a screeching halt. My e-bay habit has also ended abruptly. (I was a constipated eBayer also!) Now, when the house is quiet and my little ones are fast asleep, I can spend my time sharing the random thoughts and activities that make up my life. I guess you could call it "diarrhea of the keyboard!"

Tennis Tuesday-A Complete Lack of Drama

Since this blog is "officially" about playing tennis while jacked up on caffeine, I figured I'm due for a tennis post.

One of the reasons I haven't posted about tennis lately is the complete lack of drama. It's almost eerie. I'm playing on a USTA mixed doubles team. No practice, I just show up for matches and find out who my partner is. We play, if we win great (and we have been winning, thank goodness.) If we don't win, our captain is cool with it. WEIRD.

I'm on a ladies' USTA team that starts matches the beginning of May. All I know is that I'm playing singles. We might practice here and there, if we feel like it. My captain's philosophy is, "we're all out there to win, but if we don't, no biggie, there are more important things than housewife tennis." FREAKY!!!

Two of the other teams I was asked to join are embroiled in vigorous practice sessions. They all get together for drinks, they are working on forming strong doubles teams and shopping for team uniforms. I see them in groups discussing strategy and I just walk on by. BIZARRE.

It's kind of early to tell, but it's possible that I have finally managed to place myself in a "drama free tennis zone." I feel like a woman who has been in an abusive relationship and is finally dating a nice guy. I keep waiting for a slap in the face. I'm flinching, but all my teammates do is smile at me and say nice things.

Last week one of my tennis friends met my mom and said, "your daughter is a fierce competitor." I'm still mulling over that one. Compliment??? I'll never know. The fact is, I DO like to win. I wonder if my team will have a good record with such a laid back attitude. They're all great players and very cool, so I'm going to give it a shot. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground in the team tennis world. The alternative is a bunch of back biting obsessed nut jobs who love each other when they're up, and throw each other under the bus when they're down.

It's going to be a very interesting, (or hopefully not so interesting) season. Can't wait to see what lengths people will go to to be the #1 team and receive the much coveted "USTA League Champion" vinyl tote bag, covered in blood, sweat and tears.

A while back I asked if anyone was interested in participating in my private tennis blog "Game Set BASH!!" I got a bunch of e-mails requesting invitations, and they all got deleted.

Sorry, I'm a spaz.

If you want an invite, please contact me at

It's so much fun to vent in a safe place. If you're not a tennis player, you'll still love the stories!

I should have known better...

Than to do a post about E.D.

That's the kind of stuff that gets some pretty unsavory comments on the old blog.

"Live and learn" that's what I always say!

Carry on.

This is NOT for the sqeamish!

Every time I listen to the radio I hear the commercial for Zencore Plus.

Do you know the one I'm talking about? The one with Dr. Richard Sandore, and he talks about POTENT, POWERFUL erections. It's on all the time.Quite frankly, it kind of freaks me out, it's almost like radio porn. And just look at the logo!!! Yowsa.

And did you know that Zencore Plus had Horny Goat Weed for MAXIMUM STIMULATION??? I do...because I hear the radio commercial 50 times a day!!!

And at the end of the commercial, they remind you that SIZE you can get a BIGGER bottle of Zencore Plus if you call right away.

If you think the commercial is graphic, check out the website. You'll need a cigarette after you go on. Like I said, NOT for the squeamish!

Oh and Mom and Dad, don't even bother calling me...I'm not taking this post down! After all, free speech is guaranteed in the U.S. Constitution. It's my blog and I'll talk about male enhancement supplements if I want to!

Yeah, I know, I'm grounded.

Stuff I'm Groovin' On

LOLLIA-Wish Petite Treat Shea Butter Handcreme (Sugared Pastille)
$7 for the mini size.

My sister turned me on to this stuff. It is the best hand cream EVER and the packaging is so pretty. It makes my hands really soft and it smells heavenly. I got mine at Anthropologie, but you can also go to their website. Seriously, trust me on this one, go right now and buy it...tell them Jill sent you.

on to the next thing I'm groovin' on....

When you get to be "of a certain age" powder blush can age you, so I prefer creams and gels. (They don't get stuck in all those DEEP CREVICES all over my cheeks...)

I love this tint because you can use it on your cheeks AND your lips and it looks really natural, like you just came in from a nice long walk on a crisp fall day!!!

It comes in three gorgeous shades, Beauty Queen, Homecoming Queen and my personal shade, Prom Queen.

$15 at Sephora.

I am not paid for these endorsements...just want you to benefit from all the money I've spent on lotions and potions that I didn't like. Through much trial and error, these products were head and shoulders above the rest. And don't you be whining to me about the recession. I don't wanna here it. These are cheap people. You deserve it AND you'll be stimulating the economy, everybody wins.

Stay tuned for more.

Okay, let's drop the subject and move on...

Okay, so this whole "Tonight Show" business has really got everyone talking.

My husband found this little tidbit on

Obviously not the most important issue of the day, but I think people are misreading Obama's off-color joke. His comment came in response to Leno's sarcastic praise, sounding to me like he was comparing the empty compliment ("That's pretty good, Mr. President") to the "everyone gets a medal just for coming" ethos of the Special Olympics.

In other words, he wasn't saying he's as bad a bowler as a Special Olympian, he was saying Leno's encouragement was as cheerfully hollow as that of a Special Olympics organizer.

This was followed by a barrage of commentary from both liberals and conservatives are some of the more interesting ones...

So somehow its OK because he was only mocking the sincerity of people who volunteer countless hours work very hard and give so much of themselves to put on the Special Olympics?

This Democrat did not like people busting on the President and she had this to say:

Republicans are soooooooooooo jealous!!!!! President Barack Obama is an amazing leader and you know it!! He actually can do more than one thing at once and it annoys you because your leaders can not. He can go on the tonight show and speak to the American people about what is going on in our country. If you watched you would know he was very serious about it. He made one comment you could jump on and you are off. The thing is this is all Republicans know how to do. You have no solutions to the problems that face our country. All you do is name call. The American people can see through your fake outrage!!


So somehow its OK because he was only mocking the sincerity of people who volunteer countless hours work very hard and give so much of themselves to put on the Special Olympics?

"Right Winger" steps in on the action...

Uh uh...ACORN uh uh...Marxist uh uh...Commie uh uh...Soshulizm! uh uh...Hates America! I'm a mindless, idiot parrot from the paleotithic era and I just can't help myself!

I think you've got the point.

If you want to check out the whole drama head on over to Ben Smith's blog on Politico and read it yourself.

This whole drama takes me back a few months to the fall of 2008. The blog world was buzzing with election drama. Wow, I really miss those days.

Hope you have a great weekend. I think we're going to go bowling.

Harmless quip?

I'm sure by now you've all seen the clip of President Obama on "The Tonight Show" commenting that his bowling "is like Special Olympics or something..."

Was this a momentary lapse of reason? Or does it reveal a very mean spirited and condescending nature?

Tell me what you think...

Gaiwans & Pitchers, Cups, a Jar, and an Ugly Teapot

New works out of the kiln. I'm still figuring out the best curves and knob styles for gaiwans, ones that avoid burning heat but are still comfortable to hold and functional. I'm happy with the glazes, mostly.

Gaiwans & Pitchers:

Black and Blue Gaiwan:
This started as a project for ABX from Teachat. He wanted a "drippy" blue and black gaiwan that was somewhat small and wider.

Black and Blue Gaiwan

I'm really pleased with the result, but I need to use less blue glaze next time. First, I think the exterior of the piece doesn't utilize the black as negative space, not as well as it could. Second, the glaze dripped onto the foot of the piece, and I had to chip the foot to get the piece off the kiln shelf.

But, the interior is great:

Black and Blue Gaiwan

Mother of Pearl Gaiwan with Slip Decoration:
Love this glaze. This gaiwan pours well without burning my fingers, but it's a little wide. Small hands might have trouble with it.

Mother of Pearl Set 2 - gaiwan Mother of Pearl Set 2 - gaiwan front view 2

Mother of Pearl Set, Ming-lidded Gaiwan and Pitcher:
The lid's not quite deep enough, and it gets somewhat hot. Thankfully, though, the pitcher pours well.

Mother of Pearl Set 1 - gaiwan and pitcher
Mother of Pearl Set 1 - gaiwan lid

Closeup of the pitcher glaze:
Mother of Pearl Set 1 - glaze closeup

Mother of Pearl Pitcher:
An experiment with throating the spout. Still need to test the pour against other pitchers I've made.

Mother of Pearl Set 2 - pitcher aerial view


Several sets of mother-of-pearl glazed cups. The set of three has thicker glaze, hence the foggier texture. The thinner glaze and ribs on the other cups bring out the pinks and blues of the glaze. The cups are quite small and suitable for gongfu.

Mother of Pearl Cup Set 1

Mother of Pearl Cup Set 2 - one pair

Mother of Pearl Cup Set 2 - second pair


Tri-lobed Jar in Green Satin Glaze
This glaze usually doesn't move, but it moved enough to stick to the shelf, so the foot is slightly damaged. But, the rest of it is gorgeous. I really like the shape. Two lids for better tea storage ability.

Green Tri-lobed Jar

Inner lid:
Green Tri-lobed Jar

My First Teapot:

Well, I tried. The spout and handle are too big and the glaze went orange. The spout torqued in the firing, so it's slightly crooked in addition to being oversized and hideous. Throwing spouts, I learned, requires a lot of skill that I do not yet have.

The handle, while it looks disproportionate, is comfortable to hold. That's probably the only plus.

Ugly Teapot

Mess With the Bull...You Get The Horns-BITCH.

Yesterday, my 9 year old daughter Meg got paired up for a school project with a very nasty girl in her class. This child is a clone of her mother, very pretty and VERY full of herself.

Meg told me that when she sat next to her, the snippy little wench gave her a dirty look and said. "I feel like punching someone."

According to a bullying sheet we got home from Meg's school she should have said something to the bully like, "Sorry you seem to need to hurt people."

The sheet has a whole list of responses to put-downs, some others include, "Hey, that's a put down!" "And here I thought we were best friends!" and "Next time I see you I'll remember to bow." All cute, but they don't really get the point across the way I'd like her to.

Rather than use the sheet, I gave my daughter MY advice.

I told her she should have said is..."That's weird, because I feel like stabbing someone in the eye with my pencil." HOOOOO!!!!

Now of course I didn't really think she should say that, but it was fun to joke about it and it made Meg laugh.

Meg then told me that the little punk didn't stop at the punching comment. She also moved close to my daughter and said...(in a sinister voice)

"Can I cut your hair?"


To which I told my daughter she should have said..."Julia, I think you forgot to take your meds again! Should I walk you to the nurse?"

We laughed again.

My first reaction was to tell the teacher not to seat my daughter next to that pompous 4th grade diva anymore, but that won't do us any good.

We've talked about this before. Bitches are everywhere, so she might as well learn early how to deal with them.

Luckily there are programs at school that deal with this kind of crap. I'm also glad that Meg tells me about these incidents so we can talk about it, and even make some jokes.

The bullying sheet I got did say that kids who do this kind of stuff have have anger and they take it out on others. My question is, what the hell did someone do to a 9 year old to make her so angry and vicious? It's not my job to analyze but I can tell you this. I am so proud that both of my girls are nice. They go out of their way to make other people feel good and they are always kind.

They won't be able to avoid being paired up with mean kids every now and again, but I will make damn sure that some angry, spoiled, brat is not going to affect my child's self esteem.

I'm going to print out a little bully cheat sheet of my own, which includes comebacks like..."Wow, you are such a byotch!!!" and "Get off my ass!" or "Make sure you lock your bedroom windows tonight!"

What do you think? I'm going to call my school's psychologist and see what they say. I think a little coaching from Ms. Jill might be just the thing the school needs to stop bullying FOR GOOD.

Oh and you might be thinking, "Gee Jill, it seems like YOU have some anger issues."

Very perceptive of you! Yes, perhaps I do, but unlike certain 4th grade girls, I take it out on the tennis court, or the blog...NOT on other people.

Thanks, and have an anger free day.

Hot Rod Mama

You know what really irks me? Parents who zip around the drop off line at school. (COMPLETELY-against the rules) Slam on their brakes to narrowly avoid hitting children in the crosswalk, ILLEGALLY park, and then gingerly remove their own children from the car, sending them on their merry way.

Hello!!! We know YOUR children are precious, but how about the rest of us!!!? We know you are VERY IMPORTANT, but EVEN YOU have to wait in line with the little people, the rules apply to all of us. Even busy, important YOU!!!

The best is when they position a police officer in the parking lot and hand out tickets to these selfish speed demons. I love it!

Holy frickin' hell!!

This is straight from People Magazine...I can ASSURE you these women don't hang out with me!!! Oh and premieres on my birthday...what a gift!!

The newest cast of Housewives is close-knit and includes friends, a pair of sisters — who married brothers! — and their sister-in-law. The show is set to premiere May 12 (11 p.m. ET) on Bravo.

From left to right, the women of The Real Housewives of New Jersey are …

Jacqueline Laurita: A former cosmetologist, she is now a stay-at-home mom, but still loves to pamper herself. She has a teenage daughter from her previous marriage and a 6-year-old son with her husband Chris, who owns wholesale apparel businesses and is brother to Caroline and Dina.

Teresa Giudice: Born and raised in New Jersey, her husband Joe owns a successful construction company. Together they have three young daughters, who take up much of her time. A friend of Dina and Caroline, she also loves to shop, get spa treatments and spend time at her beach house on the Jersey Shore.

Danielle Staub: “You either love me or you hate me, there is no in between,” says the single mom of two daughters. She prides herself as one of the first female American Express Black card members in New Jersey. She is also active in her local parish and regularly attends mass. She and Jacqueline are friends.

Dina Manzo: Founder of the nonprofit Project Ladybug, which helps children with cancer, she’s also an interior designer, an event planner, mother and best friends with her sister Caroline. Her husband Albert works with his brother (Caroline’s husband) at their family’s catering business.

Caroline Manzo: She’s a mother of three and own a real estate firm and a line of children’s accessories. Described as a “feisty spitfire,” she’s Dina’s sister and is on the board of Project Ladybug. She’s married to Albert Manzo, brother of Dina’s husband Tommy. Dina and Caroline’s brother is Jacqueline’s husband Chris.

Tell us: Will you watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey?

I'll be the first to answer...HELL YEAH!

Thoughts and such.

"I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much. I write it down and Mango says goodbye sometimes. She does not hold me with both arms. She sets me free.

One day I will pack my bags of books and paper. One day I will say goodbye to Mango. I am too strong for her to keep me here forever. One day I will go away.

Friends and neighbors will say, What happened to that Esperanza? Where did she go with all those books and paper? Why did she march so far away?

They will not know that I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out."

-Sandra Cisneros, The House on Mango Street

Are ya goin'??

As much as I'd like to, I'm not. San Francisco in '08 was out of the question. Chicago, same deal. I have to pick my battles in this life, and this one doesn't seem worth the trouble, this year.

I'm way too much of a control freak to fly across the country, pay for a flight and hotel as well as meals and rental cars. In addition to all that expense, I'd need to arrange for the care of my dogs and my daughters for 3 or 4 days. I'd feel too guilty about the money and being away for so long.

How about you? Have you ever gone? If you have, was it worth the trouble? I'm not trying to be a buzz kill, I'm really interested.

I have to admit, I am very intrigued. I have yet to meet one other blogger face to face. I can't even fathom meeting hundreds of them all at once.

In order for me to attend, which I REALLY want to do, we need to have the next BlogHer within driving distance from my house. I'm bound and determined to make this happen.

So can you help a fellow blogger out? When you go to BlogHer, rally for an East coast location in 2010. New York, or Philly preferably. If you do, you get to meet me!!! Maybe I'll even do a little symposium on half assed slacker blogging. I'm an EXPERT on this subject.

Plus, it's only fair, the west coast and the midwest had their turns...let's give the east coast peeps a chance to throw a party!!!

Join the crusade for a Northeast BlogHer in 2010!

(In the meantime, let me live vicariously though you, have you got any good BlogHer stories??)

"Moms Gone Wild" aka "A Drunken Celebration in the City of Brotherly Love"

Brad and I just arrived home from a romantic weekend getaway in the world's sexiest city...Philadelphia.

My mom watched the girls and we spent a glorious weekend at The Ritz Carlton. One good thing about the bad economy is that luxury hotels have some AMAZING offers. Our room was less than $200 a night!

Friday night we dined at Philly hot spot Buddakan. We sat at a really cool lit up onyx table, drank Asian mojitos and dined on sesame crusted tuna and wasabi mashed potatoes. It was awesome.

Saturday morning we hit the Cezanne exhibit at the Philadelphia Art Museum. Almost as interesting as the art were the people at the people from all over the world who came to see the exhibit.

Okay, enough of this boring stuff. You could read a Fodor's travel book if you want to know about Philadelphia.

Let's talk about me, and what a fool I made out of myself...

Saturday night we met up with three of my best friends and their husbands for to celebrate my friend Jenny's birthday. I think I've mentioned that once every few years I really let loose. Well, last night was my night. We had dinner at El Vez, a very cool restaurant known for their margaritas which are made with fresh squeezed lime juice and PLENTY of tequila. The pitchers kept coming and coming.

We were all getting crazy and having a good old time, when my friend Liz took a look at me and said..."You are WASTED!" That's pretty much my last memory of the evening. Apparently a switch in my brain stem was short circuited by my massive tequila consumption. I completely shut down.

I layed down in the booth for awhile until they thought I was able to stand. Then Brad poured me into a cab and my night was over. This morning he showed me some pictures he took of me face down on the bathroom floor. Lovely.

I think this is the booth I passed out in...

Luckily I was with my very close friends who got a huge kick out of my drunken antics. They continued their merry making without us, at a gay bar named "Woody's." They didn't realize it was a gay bar until they had been there about 10 minutes...apparently it was really fun. Too bad I was dry heaving in the toilet at the Ritz.

Needless to say, I couldn't eat until 4 o'clock this afternoon. Hangovers suck.

Enough about was YOUR weekend???

Racing the sunny...

Yikes. It's totally hectic here. Well, as hectic as it can be when you're on the couch in pyjimmie-jams at 3pm. I am still suffering from the after effects of a hard race, that vomity unsettled stomach brought on by an over-ingestion of sugary gu's. yuck.

It was the second race of the QLD Sunshine series today, out at Karingal, Mt Cotton (Dib Dab Dob..? It's Scout land anyhoo). Yikes, I felt like I was going to vomit before the race, throughout the race, and now I still feel like I need a bit a porcelain bowl action.

Anyway, it was a sick course, all singletrack with some short but gaggingly nasty climbs, and sweet descents. Went out hard (hey you have to be good at something...) and had about 4 min lead until partway through lap three, when i blew up and crept through the final lap and a bit, losing about 5 minutes on those two laps from my first two. However, I did hold off the competition and managed to bag some cash and the podium in pure KOMination (I love the cheese...) with Aidoo and Glen taking out first and second, respectively, in the mens field. Hooray.

I need to puke.

Pottery Show / Craft Fair

Davin and I will be displaying our pottery and making tea for the visitors at our studio's student show. If you're in LA, feel free to stop by and say hi! We will only be at the evening show.

21 and over only: vodka, beer, appetizers (we have a chef!) and tea will be served.

I'm sorry honey, but "He's Just Not That Into You!"

Brad and I went to the movies Saturday night and saw, you guessed it.."He's Just Not That Into You."

As the mother of two girls, the first scene in the movie really hit home for me.

A little girl is playing on the playground and a little boy runs up to her. He knocks her on the ground and tells her, "You smell like poop. You ARE poop. A big smelly pile of poop!!"

The little girl cries and runs to her mom. "Mommy, Billy hates me...he called me poop!"

The mother hugs and daughter and consoles her. " you know why Billy knocked you down and called you poop?"

"Why mommy?" The little girl implores.

"Because, sweetie, that's his way of telling you he LIKES you!"

The camera closes in on a close up of the little girl's puzzled face.

And thus starts the movie all about women rationalizing horrible treatment from men...because they over analyze being treated like crap and are so desperate to be part of a couple.

The lesson...when a boy knocks over your daughter and calls her horrible names. Tell her it's because he's an asshole. I know it's harsh, but she'll learn that word eventually so it might as well be from her mom.

Seriously, do it...I guarantee she'll remember it for the rest of her life. Yeah, she might become a militant bitch, but better that than a doormat. :)

Are you with me???

Oh and P.S. if you have sons...let them know, if they like a girl, tell her she's funny, or smart. Knocking her over and calling her a pile of poo sends mixed messages.


A public service announcement from Caffeine Court...

Have you heard...

about someecards??? I discovered them on (where else) Facebook. They are so damn funny.

Here are a few examples of cards that apply to my life:

Ah yes...these cards really reflect my sad obsessive life.

Coming soon...the psychology of Facebook and a warning for all you married folk out there.

Stay tuned.

The drudgery of housework...

I'm totally I thought I'd dig out one of the first posts I ever did...

I love staying home with my girls-but one of the toughest parts of my job is THE HOUSEWORK. I try to make it fun-and to enjoy the process. I read books on Buddhism and try to enjoy the feel of the sponge in my hand as a scrub the shower, the humming sound of the vacuum, the smell of Pledge. Unfortunately I have "Monkey Mind" and have the attention span of a squirrel. I try to motivate myself with rewards. "If I can unload the dishwasher and put away all the dishes in one session-I can call my sister." "If I can clean all the windows in the family room-I can read the newspaper."

I try to see housework as exercise. Deep knee bends when picking up toys-STRETCH to reach cobwebs-SPRINT up and down stairs tending to requests for sippy cups or popcorn while attempting to reorganize a closet or make a bed.

In order to motivate myself I try to tell myself that I really LOVE having a clean sparkling house. That I take pride in having spotless baseboards and shiny granite counter tops. Not that I am simply trying to avoid the browbeating I will receive when my husband returns from work and exclaims-"What did you do all day!!!!?"

So here I sit at my computer-surrounded by dust bunnies, Barbies and dog hair. I guess I should get to work-but first I need to check my e-mail!!!

Nous allons a la gloire!

Rococo and Caffeine is sponsoring a shopping trip to the Capital of the New South and we're heading out today! What wondrous garments await us?

We came upon several lovely garments and handbags. And a treasure trove of credit card debt, as well.

You learn something new every day!

And one thing I learned from yesterday's post is...Botox and politics do NOT go together.

That is unless your name happens to be Joe Biden.

Carry on.

Wanderlust: Central and Eastern Europe