Holiday Haunting

My girls got some Toys R Us gift cards this Christmas so I took them on a little shopping trip last night. As we walked down the toy aisle we stumbled upon a shelf full of Ouija boards.

I got all excited and grabbed one off the shelf. "Look at THIS! A Ouija board!!" I exclaimed.

Blank stares from the peanut gallery.

"What does it do??" My eldest daughter inquired.

"It's so cool, you can talk to ghosts...." stopping dead in my tracks, my daughters stared at me, wide eyed.

"Ghosts?" My six year old asked. "Are ghosts real?"

Aww shoot. Here we go.

"No of course there not, it's just for fun. You PRETEND ghosts are talking to you. Forget it, let's go look at DS games."

Bummer. How do you explain a Ouija board to your children without completely flipping them out? If you can think of a way, I'm all ears.

I remember spending countless sleepovers talking to Abe Lincoln on my friend's Ouija board. We would also levitate each other. Remember that? When one person would lie in the middle of the group and each person would put two finders under the victim. We would then repeat, "light as a feather, stiff as a board..."and then LIFT the victim up to the ceiling!!!

Good times.

At the time it seemed so NORMAL. When I tried to talk to my girls and their friend about it, it sounded just plain weird.

Am I the only weirdo around who played with one of these things as a kid?

I almost felt like buying myself a Ouija board and stashing it away, just for old times sake. Maybe I can invite some ladies from the PTA over to chat with George Washington and Jack the Ripper.

We could all wear pajamas, drink some wine and levitate each other.

Sounds like fun, right? WRONG.

Read this from Wikipedia:

Although ouija boards are viewed by some to be a simple toy, there are people who believe they can be harmful, including Edgar Cayce, who called them "dangerous."[24]

Some practitioners claim to have had bad experiences related to the use of talking boards by being haunted by "demons," seeing apparitions of spirits, and hearing voices after using them. A few paranormal researchers, such as John Zaffis, claim that the majority of the worst cases of so-called demon harassment and possession are caused by the use of Ouija boards. The American demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren stated that "Ouija boards are just as dangerous as drugs."[25] They further state that "séances and Ouija boards and other occult paraphernalia are dangerous because 'evil spirits' often disguise themselves as your loved ones—and take over your life."[25]

Demonic possession? Evil spirits harassing me and taking over my life? Why didn't anybody stop us when we were 12 years old? Were we in mortal danger and we didn't even know it?

Seriously, I would get really creeped out when we played with this thing.

Don't you think we should stop Parker Brothers from distributing this dangerous toy? I'm shaking in my boots just thinking about it! No wonder my daughters looked so disturbed.

Okay, somebody get me a Xanax.

(The previous post is an example of my adult A.D.H.D. I sat down to write my New Year's resolutions and this is what I came up with. Forget the Xanax, somebody get me some Adderall.)