I remember a friend back in high school. She wasn’t a horrible person by any means, but was so burrowed so deeply inside her shell that I would try anything to entice her out and be her friend. It was as though I was completely fascinated by her disinterest in having friends or being part of the “in-crowd”. For someone who tried so hard to be liked and to be accepted, to be around someone who seemingly didn’t care, was something I was drawn to. If I could become her friend I thought maybe some of that cool aloofness could rub off on me.
As I’ve gotten older though I’ve realized that what I perceived as being uninterested and unbothered by the cliques of high school was actually more likely a defense mechanism for her own lack of self-confidence. I find myself wondering sometimes what has become of her. Has she come out from behind the wall that she so carefully built around her? Does she let people into her world? Is she happy now?