Divine Intervention

Picture this...only with piles of hair covering every inch of the floor!


As you may or may not know, I've been growing out a short haircut for about six months. It's been an long and grueling process, and I'm finally starting to see progress. Like a recovering alcoholic, I've been taking it "one day at a time." Today, I almost fell off the wagon. BIG TIME. 

I was at a strip mall with my daughters running errands when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the plate glass window and realized that I needed to do something fast. I decided to go into Great Clips for a trim.

As I walked in I got a really bad feeling. There were piles of hair everywhere-it looked like no one had swept in days. The employees were beyond scary looking...bleach blond hair with black roots, faded tattoos on their ankles, bright blue eyeshadow and pissed off expressions on their haggard faces. Despite the frightening appearance of the salon and it's employees, I was still determined to get my hair trimmed.

I stood at the front desk with my two daughters, patiently waiting for one of the hairdressers to acknowledge me. My daughters started to whine immediately. "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom!!" No problem. I took them back to the FILTHY bathroom.

When we returned one of the very irritated looking Great Clips ladies finally spoke to me. "Can I help you?", she asked with absolutely no enthusiasm. I stood firm in my convictions, "Yes, I'd like to get my hair cut." She started to lead me over to a chair SURROUNDED by and covered with mounds of cut hair.

"Mom, we're hungry!" My daughters whined again. (Are my kids getting on your nerves yet?  Schools been out for a week and they certainly are getting on mine...)

Back to the subject.  It was as if a higher power was throwing obstacles in my path-desperately trying to stop me from making a huge mistake.  And in case you're wondering, yes, I'm self centered enough to think that God really gives a crap whether or not my hair looks good. :) 

Suddenly, I snapped back into reality. What in the hell was I thinking!!!? I almost let the most heinous looking, hungover, nasty woman in the world near my head with a pair of sharp scissors!!!

Once I had my wits back I thought quickly. "You know what? I'm going to get lunch for the kids and I'll come back later."

The stylist was cool with it. She followed us out front and lit up a Marlboro Red.

Wow, that was close.

Unfortunately the story doesn't end there...so tune in tomorrow for the ongoing saga of "Jill's Quest for a Normal Cut and Color." (And the perfect eyebrow arch!!)

P.S.  It doesn't have a happy ending.  :(