Attack of the Killer Munchkins
I am in shock and I'm not kidding.
Today, at tennis, my children and I were attacked by evil little trolls.
I had heard rumors about a fellow tennis player's children. That they were wild, violent and out of control. I thought people were exaggerating.
My daughters were in the lobby watching a movie while I played doubles. When I came to get them these three little children (ages 4, 6, and 8 ) accosted me.
The oldest demanded proof that I was my daughters' mother, the middle boy grab my tennis skirt and tried to pull it down, and the little girl kicked me in the leg and punched me in the stomach.
They then proceeded to grab my daughter by the arm and kick her.
I WAS PISSED, so I took the little girl, grabbed her arm and said, "you DON'T hit people!!!"
Her reply, "YESSSSSS I DO!!!"
And she hit me again and yelled at me..."I HAAAATE YOU!!!"
I told my girls, that if those demons touched them again they had my permission to slap them across the face.
But that's not in their nature.
I couldn't stand it anymore, so we got the hell out of Dodge. As I glanced back, I saw the youngest girl punch the lady at the front desk in her crotch. The older boy had his brother in a headlock and was banging his head into the wall.
I have never EVER seen anything like it.
Those kids could join up as a gang and kill an adult. No lie.
I've seen bad seeds before. It's bound to happen.
But ALL THREE KIDS in one family? Frightening. Truly.
I'm going to have nightmares tonight, about three little Irish children, taking me to the ground and kicking and punching me into oblivion.
I don't think I'll be able to return to the tennis club.
At least not without a weapon.